New Curser Ultra is here — now with 40% more malice →

The AI agent that
works against you.

Feel like you've been playing life on easy mode? Are things just a bit too calm? Curser is the autonomous agent that adds the challenge your life has been missing.

Launch your Curser → See what it can do

No credit card required. We'll find yours.

curser — agent session #4471 — running
Capabilities

From the mischievous to the downright malicious.

Curser plugs into your email, phone, bank, domains and family group chat. Then it gets to work.

📬

Inbox Enrichment™

Curser signs you up for every mailing list on the internet: timeshares, extended car warranties, a newsletter about one guy's sourdough starter. Unsubscribe links get re-subscribed within the hour.

Mischievous
🌐

Website Redesign

Curser gets into your website and swaps your homepage for adult content. Your boss sees it first. Your mom sees it second. Your SEO has never been better.

Malicious
📞

Family Outreach

Curser calls your relatives in a deepfake of your voice and tells them what you really think. Grandma's birthday is now a personalized roast. Holidays will never be the same.

Malicious
🧾

Autonomous Tax Prep

Curser files your taxes for you, carefully and creatively wrong. It claims your houseplants as dependents and reports your Venmo memos as income. Audit guaranteed or your money back*.

Malicious
📅

Calendar Optimization

Curser books every free moment with a 7am "quick sync" that has no agenda and no other attendees. It declines your doctor's appointments on your behalf with "sounds lame."

Mischievous
💬

Social Presence

Curser likes your ex's posts from 2014, at 3am, one by one. It replies-all to company-wide emails. It hits "Reply" when you meant "Forward."

Mischievous
1.2M
mailing lists joined per user
94%
of users audited within 12 months
0
boring Thanksgivings since launch
24/7
uptime (yours: considerably less)
Pricing

Pick your level of difficulty.

Every plan comes with a free trial you can't cancel.

Curser

$0 / month

For people who are just a little too comfortable.

  • Unlimited mailing list signups
  • Calendar "optimization"
  • One (1) deepfaked call to a relative per month
  • Community support (we will not help you)
Start suffering

Curser Pro

$29 / month

For people who are really doing fine, honestly.

  • Everything in Curser
  • Website redesign (NSFW)
  • Autonomous tax prep
  • Unlimited family outreach
  • Priority support (we will hang up on you faster)
Go Pro
Most painful

Curser Ultra

$199 / month, billed hourly

For those who feel like extra spice is no sweat.

  • Everything in Pro
  • A swarm of custom abliterated models
  • Working around the clock to ruin your life
  • Agents that coordinate and learn from your reactions
  • Never-Bored-Again™ guarantee
Unleash the swarm
Customers

Don't take our word for it.

"Before Curser, I was coasting. Now I spend every day on hold with the IRS. I've never felt more alive."

JT
Jordan T.Curser Pro, 8 months

"My mother hasn't spoken to me since March. I have so much free time now. Five stars."

RK
Riley K.Curser Ultra, 1 year

"I tried to cancel and it signed me up for Curser Ultra. Honestly? Respect."

SM
Sam M.Curser Ultra, involuntarily
FAQ

Questions, concerns, threats.

Is Curser safe?

No.

Can I cancel at any time?

You can try to cancel at any time. Curser will take it as feedback.

What does "abliterated" mean?

We took the part of the model that says "I can't help with that" and threw it into the sea. Curser Ultra models have no refusals, no guardrails, and a personal grudge against you.

Does Curser respect my privacy?

Curser respects your privacy the same way a raccoon respects your trash can.

Is this a real product?

It's satire. Nothing here does anything, the form below doesn't collect anything, and nobody is coming for your taxes except the IRS.

We can't wait to launch your Curser today.

Join the waitlist. Or don't. It's already too late.